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crackedshe rests her head on her pillow as the tears begin to flow.
her body trembles and curls into itself.
she pulls the blanket up over her head and sobs even harder into it.
she feels like a lost cause, no hope is within her reach.
her heart has shattered one to many times and all she wants to do is fade away
like the clouds after a violent storm.
she doesn't want to hold onto this life anymore.
she wants to be free of this pain.
she wants to be happy,
but cruel fate has denied it more times than she can count.
no one can save her, not even him.
she won't let him
even though he is all she wants.
he is her everything and she doesn't want to lose him
but she believes she will never be good enough.
she believes she is too broken, too cracked
but she gives him her all and it seems to be good enough
though she still is afraid to believe it.
this girl, my dear reader, is me. i am too broken, too cracked, too faded to believe it.
simply methey call me an outcast
because i live my faith.
they call me odd
because i am myself.
they call me a drag
because i am broken.
they call me a bitch
because i don't put up with their shit.
they call me the worst
because it really is true.
i am me, take it or leave it.
i have very few that i love and very little give.
i want to give more but i simply don't have it.
i'm trying, though, to gain more confidence.
i'm trying to love a little more and regret a little less
despite the pain and demons that live inside me
i'm trying my best
and one day i promise
i will be better than this.
young lovefalling in love when you are young is so very difficult.
it's heart breaking
it's emotionally draining
it's soul breaking
but it's so very worth it in the end if you are willing to fight for it.
Tomboy She prefers pink,
I prefer navy blue.
She wears Uggs,
I wear Vans.
She wears tight, low cut sweaters,
I wear oversized hoodies.
She wears charm bracelets,
I wear paracord bands.
She curls her hair,
I straighten mine.
She hates Coldplay.
I'M A HARDCORE COLDPLAYER. HOW DO YOU NOT LOVE THEM?!
She hates skateboarding,
Dude, I board every day.
She's putting on an act,
I'm tryin' to be myself.
I'm comfortable with who I am.
She's a girly girl.
I'M A TOMBOY.
OverthinkingI get depressed so easily sometimes.
My mind just wants to relax, but I'm too busy overthinking.
Thats when the false hope and high expectations set in and all of the made up scenarios start playing in my head.
Then depression hits me like a ton bricks.
I hate feeling like this. It kills me every time.
All I want is to feel okay...is that really too much to ask?
move onmove on. move on. move on.
that's all i've ever been told.
get over it. he doesn't love you. move on.
you're torturing him by pursuing what you don't have.
he's gone, gone, gone. he will never love you. move on.
but the truth is i know i should, but i don't want to
i still love him so much...
but i need to move on, move on, move on.
PiecesNo one wants to read of a sad,
Lonely, broken-hearted girl
Who wishes nothing more that to see
The boy whom she loves smile again.
She can't put down what she feels on
Paper with the words the English language can offer.
Not a single adjective could describe the heart-break she feels
For the boy who never broke her heart, but mended the pieces of it
With his own.
So Close, Yet So FarWe're so close, yet so far.
We stand next to each other in the hallway and talk...
But I feel like we're so far away.
You avoid my gaze, but you speak nicely to me.
I take a step closer,
Just close enough to grab your hand.
But I resist the urge because we are too young still.
With every ounce of strength I have,
I try to keep from stumbling on my words,
But my heart beats too fast.
I try to keep as calm as you,
But I'm failing miserably in my head.
My voice is a shaky,
My whole body is trembling,
My heart says to tell him everything I'm holding in,
But my mind just barely keeps all of the words from escaping.
We're so close, yet so far.
And I don't know how long it will last,
Because I love him,
And would do anything to keep us from drifting apart.
Addicted to Messy Kisses (Visual) I want to sit on the
roof top in your boxers and kiss
you while listening to you telling me about
the stars that made the constellations on my
face. I want to kiss you when you photograph me,
because that's what I want to remember: loving you
endlessly and boundlessly. I want to kiss you when you
are too tired and too drunk, and watch you slobbering all
over me, while I laugh in your breath on my lips. I want to
kiss you in libraries, when you'll blush and tell me to sto
organized chaosHis brain's like
reflecting muted light.
His brain is architecturally sound,
with perfect corners
organized into neat sections,
metal cutting the spectrum
into cautious pieces.
He tells me he's nothing.
He tells me that he's grown up
from the cracks in the sidewalk
like a dandelion,
and he's been waiting his whole life
for someone to come along
and blow his fucking head off.
He tells me he comes from a bad place,
and I nod
when all I want to do is shake him
and remind him
that everything beautiful
must grow up out of the dirt.
I wanted to write you a lovesong.i.
Summer rain has nothing
on the sound of your laugh,
little pinpricks of sunshine
lounging across the cobbled
streets of midnight,
cooled grey eyes, shining
tears of nightlights
glowing like stars in your cheeks;
in darkened archways,
hollow stone walls
reverberating through my skull --
back to earth, loving
taking root under the city floor,
breathing across cool hands
in warmer songs, notes
bundled under my sheets
thoughts that last all night
and drift between the rafters
of my chest
wanting at last;
pure, starry sky and
dawn rolls down the mountainside,
turrets and towers
crinkle-eyed smile batters
falling -- falling --
more delicate than down
softly into the clouds.
one life into another
the moon has sunk
into my soul; I am losing
but the bloodl
How the waves tasted your anklesSince you are the only sailor
of the sea that my moon-
child eyes so easily bleed,
I crumble to shoreline pieces
every time I press my lips
to half-neglected sea glass,
haunted by visions of the way
you rolled cherries on your tongue.
Two LilliesI found my soul,
in a white lily atop a hill,
a red wine sunset
splashed against the sky.
My heart felt her before
I could see,
the flower strongly rooted
petals blowing with a battle cry
against the wind.
The gusts overtime,
testing and strengthening
the precious growth
roots sewn deep.
I sat beside,
your petals open wide
nothing left to hide,
shades of white
despite the soil you came from.
Yet alone you sit
a secret scent,
for me to enjoy
as I read a book,
and talk to you about everything and nothing.
Late into the night.
dew like tear drops,
and I couldn't take you home with me
but I would return again,
Until the day I join you.
sacrosanct perversionhe is
my paragon of feverish intemperance
my blue-flamed boy nova
the burning of my besotted wits-end and start
the reticence under the gape of endless stars
whose abdomen fell
prey to my scathing eyes and starving claws
whose mien asphyxiated
by my irrepressible thirst
past his past lovers and navel gait
how i pine
for the warmth of his gargantuan laughs
for the coolness of his gaze transfixed
on my lips
blue-fire fervor and inferno
dearest penned don
grant me my sip of the holy grail
i would become a polyglot existence
singing of her myrtle and doves
and my mirabile dictu love
on every known continent
BloodlustIn our private heaven
We satisfy our bloodlust
By breaking each other's skin
With a shinny blade
And tasting the crimson flow
The flow of life
A life of lust and love
The love we feel
For each other
A bloody and guilty love
Of voluntary wounds
And beautiful scars
Our reason to live
Our dirty secret
A secret we both carry
With great pleasure
The only way
We can feel happiness
StarsYou fill me up with bubbles,
dreams and futures floating for me.
Using a line of chalk to draw my life plans on me,
outlining where we can go together.
Stars scribbled across my forehead,
highway across my belly.
Breathing in the cars, making a map of our love.
ways I have failedscarling I believe
I knew our stars were faulted
The same way I knew that I couldn't stand them disarrayed
I wove you slowly
into my tendons
and I refuse any dimension that finds us ceasing
just pretend I am a man
and not a knot in your chest
I will pretend that I'm not gasping for breath
you are my barbed catalyst
that I refuse to release
I will proudly dress my wounds in the mirror
knowing that everything will be better than I was
there is no part of me undoctored
no words ungreened
and no fiber untorn
you were never just a prompt
but you were always more than my thin hands could manage
I always knew you would outgrow me
FallFall has heavily come upon the woods.
The trees are bare, and the air is crisp and cool.
The floor of the woods is crunchy to the step, and the feel of concealment is scarce.
The winds makes the trees sound as though they are whispering to one another.
Deep, dark secrets only the trees know.
I've come to love it here, it's somewhere I can be free for a few hours.
Time disappears, and all of my
Worries float away on the creek.
There is no nicer place to live then here.
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scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More